This week was just what I needed. Thanks to the traditional school year, Ukrainian schools typically have three large breaks (at least a week) three times a year for fall, winter, and spring. This past week I enjoyed doing absolutely nothing along with getting some things done that I've pushed aside for way too long. I even lucked out with the weather, the first few days were rainy and miserable, leaving me with no other option other than staying in my room. It did finally get nice enough for some outdoor socializing. I really lucked out in that my host family went out of town for the week, leaving my landlady in charge of the store. I had the place all to myself during the day. I forgot what silence was.
Last weekend I had Adopt-a-Cluster, which is where current volunteers visit trainees and share experiences. My friend Whitney and I traveled to a decent sized town in the Kyiv region to meet with out trainees. I've got a lot of hope for them, I was really impressed with what they want to do as volunteers. It was fun to be in a position of power, telling about where I live and how I adjusted in order to be effective in my community. I like to comment when explaining to people that aren't on the "inside" (not that I'll ever be) that Peace Corps staff is so politically correct that they can't answer anything specific. Meaning, as trainees, we're dying to know anything about where we'll be living for the next two years. Because everyone's experience is different, Peace Corps refuses to generalize. With that, the staff has the responsibility of always being both professional and positively supportive so a person in training is left with questions that can't be answered by present company. Though my partner and I had planned activities, it ended up being nearly five hours of the two of us commenting about our experiences. Our trainees seemed perfectly happy to just listen to us, thankful to hear another side of the story.
Adopt-a-Cluster weekend felt like a completion of a circle for me. It's hard to believe it's been a year since I was in their situation. Currently Peace Corps Ukraine has a policy where we can close our service a month before the two-year mark. Because of this, the people that I had in Adopt-a-Cluster are preparing to leave and saying their final goodbyes. It's weird how many of them will be gone in less than two weeks, leaving the group I swore-in with as the "seniors" of TEFL.
I'm a little upset how quickly my service is, I've got so many project ideas that need more time.
I'm anxious about this week at school. I've said yes to too many little things and now I've got a series of tutoring sessions every day. Yes, it's my fault. I still have elective lessons with each class but they rarely work in the end because the schedule changing and the students refusing to stay (even though their day was just shortened by up to three less lessons). This means that I sprint around the school looking for keys to unoccupied rooms. Sometimes these lessons are effective, but they're often taken over by misbehaving boys. I hate yelling and being physically forceful, but this approach is one of my only remaining options with them. I'm so tired of being underappreciated by the students during class time. Instead, I now have to tutor a lot because of so much wasted time on discipline. I'm disappointed in how little they're progressing and tutoring at least lets me see some results. I'm also tired of seeing students on the street, gasping while loudly whispering my name (I can hear you!) and then giggling. Come on, it's been nearly a year. This game has got to be old by now.
With tutoring, there's a complete disconnect between me and the people I work with when it comes to time-management. As a generalization, I've discovered that if I'm not physically in the presence of someone in my village, they automatically assume I'm doing nothing (they certainly don't ever work from their homes). And, since I don't have a husband that I have to feed and water, I must be really, really bored. Therefore, they're saving me by telling me what to do. I've got to say no. I've got to say no many times in a row and with force. It's one of the things I hate most about this culture, the need to put on a show because otherwise I'm not taken seriously. Then again, everything is a show for my students.
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